User:Jwise

John Wise was born in a hollow tree trunk, in the Minden Bog, in the year oh his people, known as, "The Time of Great Embarrasment."

While he was still in his youth, the elders determined that he was the one the prophecy foretold; he was That Guy.

After fashioning himself a crown to suit his new position (composed of three paperclips and several packs of bendy straws), he promptly continued to do as he always had. This garnered the attention of the local townsfolk who founded the religion formally known as This Guy, which numbers in the tens even today.

However, in a google translate accident, a misunderstanding lead to the disciples to fail to heed a warning of incoming nuclear strikes as "buy more bread".

To be continues.

(It was later found that That Guy's crown was actually styrofoam)